How I Ended Up Being an Escort

Before COVID, I considered myself a normal girl leading an everyday life with an 8 to “whenever the boss fancies” kind of job. I could pay my bills and spare some for a Sunday evening drink. When COVID came, my boss’ husband was laid off, which meant my job at a beauty parlor came to a grinding halt after he took up the nail polishing business I was hired for. So I went home and decided to be a writer.

The reviews online said I could earn as much as 2,000$ a month after a 40$ training course. After my training, which was nothing to write home about and which was conducted online and took for under a week, I was given the power to be, and I hit the market looking for clients.

I got one from Pakistan, and the guy was paying me 10$ per 2500 words. I slaved for hours, but all I got at the end of the month was not even enough to pay my rent, let alone make me a millionaire. To say I was demotivated, and in poverty, panic would be an understatement.

Suppose you are a regular on Facebook or any other social site. In that case, You must have come across a pop-up ad for massage parlors and spas in private residential homes either in Kilimani, Karen, Muthaiga, Kitusuru, or any other residential area.

Unless you are a horny, lonely man, most of us do not pay any attention to these ads, nor do we even give them a second thought. I was one of those who swipe the ads off my timeline and block them for an indefinite amount of time. Being jobless and prospectless had changed all that. So am going through my Facebook feed, and there pops an ad. “Looking for beautiful and sensual companions. Trained masseuse preferred.”

I wasn’t outgoing by nature, I didn’t seem overtly sexual, and I certainly didn’t ever aspire to be a hooker before I saw this ad. I mean, I have been called pretty albeit in the dark, and I have been considered sensual by most. My hips to waist ratio are desirable, and when I swing my backside, men practically drool. With those attributes and my supple and smooth hands, I was sure I could hack the massage business.

So I took up the number and made a call. The voice on the other side said, ” The place Spa, how may I help you?”  I told the lady I would like to apply for the massage job, and she invited me to her office, which doubled as a massage parlor in Kilimani. Since I had never visited the town, I took an uber, and I arrived at the office at precisely ten o’clock.

The place had an unassuming air around it with classy well-picked décor that would fit perfectly in a home. There was a classy lady with well-made makeup and spectacular fingernails behind the desk. She introduced herself as “Dasha,” the owner of the establishment. She welcomed me in and started the interview.

Her “Have you ever worked in a massage parlor?”

Me, “No, but I am a quick learner, and I am sure I can pick it up pretty quick.

Her, “are you a virgin?”

Me, “What?”

Her, giving me a look that said, “are you for real!” “The massage business is twofold; there are those clients who come for a massage purely to take the edge off and those who come for a massage to get off. Get what I mean? ” the double entendre is not lost on me, and I shake my head in righteous indignation.

Her, ” if you insist on pure massage work, the pay is $50 a session, but if you decide to give a happy ending, the pay is $150 an hour for outcalls and 200 dollars for inhouse business. The house takes a cut of 50 dollars for whatever service. The rule here is to ensure you are always paid first before any business starts and always warm the oil.”

My jaw dropped. I pictured my tiny room in Githurai with two months’ rent arrears, my -25$ Mpesa balance, and two days intermittent fast not to lose weight but because I could not afford a cup of githeri from mama Njeris Kibanda. Fifty dollars seemed so tempting, but I was sure my mom in heaven would send lightning bolts to strike my ass if I tried that business.

I was jolted awake by Danashas voice saying, “of course, you can start with the regular and decide which side to go after you have found your footing. To start with, you need to buy some beautiful lingerie and start tomorrow.  But to get a feeling of what happens here, you can watch one of our girls in action.”

Just like that, I had a job. Through it all and even before I signed up for it, it had never occurred to me that someone would be watching the sessions. I asked why our sessions would be monitored, and she told me it’s to ensure no one went beyond what was expected and for the security of those offering the service. A bout of shyness hit me, but it truly made sense.

I was invited into a spacious room where two girls and a guy were seated chatting. There was a big picture on the picture screen highlighting various rooms and girls with their clients. Dasha was with a client in a room with soft lighting and a very inviting bed. The guy on the bed was under a white sheet. She put some oil on her hand and started rubbing his back.

The whispering continued, then I heard her over the mike say maybe Sasha would like to join us? Immediately a girl sashayed into the room, and Dasha came over to disrobe her. By this time, the guy was on his back and seemed to be getting off on the exchange. The girls leaned over, and now the massage took on a new meaning. Before I knew it, the whole thing was over, and the guy was dressing with a big grin on his face.

The entire thing took less than 30 minutes, and both girls made 200 dollars each. I was hooked. I became a regular connoisseur of pop-up ads and discovered Penzi Tamu, where I could advertise my services and bypass the “House,” which took up 25% of my earnings.  I’m no longer the arrogant young woman with her nose in the air. I am a well-paid escort with services ranging from anal, girl on girl, party entertainment, massages, and hand jobs to the girlfriend’s experience.

Would I trade my career for an 8 to 5 job? Hell No. I get paid to do something I enjoy, and holding the secret of my position under my chest makes my days quite interesting. I always warm the oil and I always GET PAID FIRST.

Always do that which makes you happy 🙂


What attracts a younger woman to an older man?

So why would a younger woman choose an older man? Hollywood actress Catherine Zeta Jones who married 25-year-older Michael Douglas had a love at first sight kind of love story. Michael Douglas in an interview said, “Thirty minutes after meeting her I said you will be the mother of my children.”

Seems Catherine was instantly convinced. Jones and Douglas have a son and daughter now. They have a marriage that’s seen its ups and downs but they have been going strong.

So what do younger women look for in older men? Are they just sexually attracted to older men or it is something more? The attraction between older men and younger women sets off some obvious sparks which are hard to resist.

Sometimes it’s just sexual attraction while there are times that it turns out into something more meaningful. Whether or not the relationship is meaningful or sexual, purely depends on compatibility and differs from person to person. Here are 11 things that attract a younger woman to an older man.

When you actually fall in love, age is just a number.

1. They are more responsible and mature

We all agree that men act like grown-up kids or are as a man child. They run away from responsibilities and maturity is something you can’t expect from them. Many times, women find men of their age to lack a sense of responsibility.

Women get tired of doing all the work and seek someone who is responsible and will look after them, instead of vice versa. In the long run, married men become lazy and women feel that older men would still be able to understand their problems because of their maturity levels.

Women mature faster than men and seek someone to match their level of maturity. Older men are more responsible which make them ideal for such women.

2. A sense of security

Older men provide a sense of security which is an essential criterion for a happy relationship. Most of the time, older men are more accomplished in life. As and when they reach heights in their career, they procure certain assets to secure their future.

Women seek emotional and financial security, especially when they are thinking of settling down. Finding a man, who is able to make them feel both emotionally and financially secure, is something that draws them towards older men.

They feel more comfortable knowing that their future is secure with such a person. What attracts an younger woman to an older man is they are at that stage of their life where they have their assets and investments in place. The most attractive age for a man is mid 30s or early 40s when he has a stable income, looks and libido on his side.

3. They are more experienced

Older men have played the field for a longer time and are more experienced in handling women. Their experience with women makes them adept in understanding women. They can deal with a woman’s mood swings and can also comfort them with the right words and actions.

Younger women feel more comfortable with older men because they know all the right words to say when they feel pulled down. Older men make them feel emotionally secure.

Also older men handle adverse situations better, they do not jump to conclusions, are calm and reasonable. A younger woman finds an older man a reassuring presence in her life.

4. The daddy issues

Women with daddy issues usually get easily attracted to older men. They want the next male figure to be someone who is the opposite of their father. Someone who understands her like her father didn’t.

In the attempt of seeking someone unlike her father, younger women find older men as a replacement of their father. They seek a mentor, a friend and someone to give them advice. In the process, these younger women get attracted to the wisdom and maturity of older men and fall for them.

They want to be protected, sheltered, taken care of and that is what drives an younger woman towards an older man. Especially a woman, who has been emotionally distant with her father all her life, will want an older man who would give her that emotional security.

5. They know what they want in life

If you ask a guy of your age what he wants in life, he will either stare at you with a blank expression or will give you some immature answer like, “Playing video games all my life” or “Nothing but sleep”. The same response from an older man will be about his ambitions, his career objectives and his future prospects.

Older men are driven by goals and direction which is what makes younger women get attracted to them. And then by the time you figure out that you are married to a wrong person, it is too late.

This is because women are usually more mature than men and they look for someone who would match their level of maturity.

6. Their mysterious aura

Sexy older men have this sense of mysteriousness around them. The frowns on their forehead or the seriousness in their face say that there’s something deeper to them and you can’t help but want to know more about their story.

The lesser an older man talks about himself, the more you want to know about him. Blame it on chick flicks or rom-com movies, you feel as if he has a dreadful past and you want to act like the girl who revived him from it and brought happiness back into his life again.

A man who has lived his life has stories to tell of adventures and struggles, of failures and success and that can be mesmerising to a young woman.

7. They are more understanding

Older men are more understanding than younger men. They don’t fight over small issues and make a big deal about it. Older men are more patient and will try to find the root of the problem and resolve the issue rather than playing the blame game.

Their conflict resolution skills are exceptional. They keep their calm and will try to understand you first before jumping to conclusions. Women find this attractive because they feel like older men understand their feelings, value their emotions and know how to respect them.

Older men know how to choose their battles right and would not heckle and hassle a young lady over the smallest of things. Petty fights is what they would abhor and a relationship with them could prove to be strong and peaceful.

8. They aren’t afraid of marriage

Younger women eventually get tired of heartbreaks and look for settling down with someone who isn’t going to break their heart anymore.

Older men make the perfect match because at that time they are looking towards settling down with someone. They aren’t afraid of marriage and make such women feel secure and assure her that this is not going to end up like another fling of theirs.

Younger women feel that finally, they aren’t going to suffer another heartache. But can an older man love a younger woman? Yes, with all his heart. That’s why some younger woman – older man love stories are so successful.

9. They make a good sugar daddy

Younger women get easily attracted to older men because sometimes all they are looking for is to be a sugar baby. Younger men and women like easy money and don’t mind dating older people for it.

They want someone to pay their bills and give them a lifestyle they wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford. Some younger women want sugar daddies to give them expensive gifts that they can show off in front of others, something which would make them socially desirable and boost their ego.

An older man would give her all these perks which she would otherwise not be able to afford. Some young women prefer to cash in on the older man attraction signs to get into a relationship that works in their favour.

10. They are good in bed (really? debatable)

If there’s one more thing older men have more experience in, it’s with women. Older men are more experienced in bed too and know how to satisfy their women sexually. They understand sex is not only for them but also for the women.

There’s this sexual chemistry between an older man and a younger woman that does wonders in bed too. It’s hard for the spark to go off when you’re dating an older man. If you always think, “Why am I sexually attracted to older men?” the reason is that they know how to make you feel good in bed, that’s why.

11. The heart wants what it wants

Sometimes a younger woman dating an older man has nothing to do with his age. We say that love is blind and the heart wants what it wants. After all, there is no set age difference for a great marriage! Sometimes it’s just compatibility and understanding just makes them click.

Cupid can strike anywhere and at any time. It can bring two totally opposite people together, even if they have a huge age gap. For people whose age isn’t a factor, a huge age gap doesn’t make a difference.

Can an older man love a younger woman? How does it feel like dating older men? Dating an older man will make you feel that you’ve finally found someone who wants the same thing as you.

However, there are some important things that you need to think about. Will this person be able to handle your immaturity or will he treat you like a child? What are his plans for children? Where do you see your future with him? You need these questions answered as you don’t want to end up like Monica Geller who had to leave Richard because he didn’t want kids.

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Rare type of men in Kenya who marry prostitutes

A man who is not emotionally secure will never marry a prostitute (knowingly, that is). Why? He is too busy to ponder deeply about prostitutes, or the plight of downtrodden people, generally. In other words, a man without empathy could not understand a prostitutes plight. He would be afraid to be associated with people outside the realm of normal. He would be focused on keeping up appearances. He will be too concerned about what his family thinks. He would be too afraid of what others might say. This “normal” man is likely to be a “great” client to a prostitute, but he will never marry a prostitute. He may love her, lust for her and cheat on his wife with a prostitute, but he will never swim against the tide to give a prostitute the full dignity of marriage.  (**Mind you, not all prostitutes desire or want marriage at all, or with such a person**)

The only case where this “normal” man would marry a prostitute is if her past is unknown (kept a secret). Some prostitutes do hide their past and revert back into normative society.

Who Marries a Prostitute?

A prostitute will attract a lot of men whom are not good for her: weirdos, creeps. Men with unwholesome lifestyles and intentions (ie: swingers, players, pimps, predators/abusers). A prostitute should never associate with these sort of men (but sadly, prostitutes often do get in relations with such individuals due to being naive or getting ‘finessed’). Aside from the unwholesome, there are some decent men who marry prostitutes.

There are good kinds of men who will marry a prostitute. But these kind of men are rare. They are rare because most people, generally, are too afraid to go against societal norms. It’s understandable — life is much easier when one sticks to what the majority does. After all, prostitutes are heavily stigmatized and hated by wider society. Only a man with an immensely solid self-esteem and high emotional intellect can overlook all the stigma and realize prostitute’s humanity.

The good man for a prostitute *might* be normal looking/acting. But deep down, he will be immensely unique. He will possess empathy for others. He is one who dismisses and/or critiques societal norms that negate wholeness or humanity. In other words, this kind of man is deep and highly moral. He may have been broken himself, which is why he has depth and a deeper understanding of life. He won’t care what society thinks (marrying a prostitute), because he knows the value of humanity over ego. He will fight to protect his beloved. Once again, he might look like one of the “normal” men with the conventional lifestyle, but deep down he is much more unconventional. Of course, a lot of prostitutes like myself are also quite “normal” acting, but are rather unconventional behind closed doors. 

In the film Water (2005), the character Narayan, played by John Abraham, is the epitome of an empathetic, true lover. The character Narayan came from a “normal” upper class family. Compared to his peers, who could care less about the well-being of prostitutes and can easily reduce a prostitute to “she’s just a whore,” Narayan was different. He was disturbed by the inhumane, cruel norms within Indian society. Thus, he became an activist, and lived out his activism through action. He fell in love with a young widow, who was prostituting herself to survive. Despite he knew his Mother’s disapproval, he was confident in his decision to marry a widow (a deeply stigmatized “undesirable” woman for marriage in pre-Modern Hindu society). He was confident because he knew he was doing the right thing.

The most powerful part of the film is when Kalyani, the widowed prostitute, bares her soul and makes herself extremely vulnerable. Kaylani was expecting to be rejected for exposing herself (ie: loss of her physical beauty, and exposing herself as a stigmatized woman). But despite that,  Narayan looks at her and says, “I love you even more now,” and made preparations to marry her. His powerful action symbolized true love — a man who loves their beloved in any condition. He was swimming against the tide, and yet he remained determined. That scene always makes me cry, as such love is only imaginable.

Prostitutes Relationships with Drug Dealers & Gangsters 

Aside from creeps and good men, prostitutes commonly bond with men whom are involved in the underworld, or the illegal trade economy. These men are drug dealers, gang members, or are somehow involved in the black market economy. While a lot of gangster-type of men fall into the ‘creep’ category and are harmful for prostitutes, some of them, ironically, are actually caring, loving, protective and loyal. Class is also a factor — there are different classes of gangsters just as there are different classes of sex workers. For instance, some high class prostitutes associate with high ranking gangsters/mafia (I, personally, avoid mingling with such people due to lack of common interests).

Why do Prostitutes often form Relationships with Drug Dealers and Gangsters?

Both come from similar backgrounds of childhood neglect, broken homes, and/or poverty, etc. They find commonality and comfort in their shared experience of trauma and being ostracized (outcasted) from ‘polite’ society. Drug dealers and gangsters are less likely to care what society considers a “proper” wife, and this is because they have less family input into their lives or their families are less concerned about keeping up appearances. Vice versa. There are indeed a lot of scum who are drug dealers (ie: those who do it to floss (ego and fame), and/or ones who pimp and exploit women into the sex industry). But not all gangsters are the same — some are vehemently against that and are protective of women. The “good” gangsters are in the game due to circumstances, and they often want out of that life (very much like most prostitutes).

Over the years, I have occasionally come across these kind of men as clients. Strangely enough, I often felt chemistry or somewhat connected to clients whom were affiliated to the underworld (the kind whom are low-key, sophisticated and un-flashy). The ones I liked were generous and took pride in caring for and protecting women. They were also emotionally deep, and we had a lot in common in terms of struggles and coming from dysfunctional family backgrounds. One, in particular, that I connected with was a man who left the illegal life behind. He told me he had spent time in prison when he was younger and “foolish.” When he got out, he changed his ways and made a better life for himself. We spoke about our broken families and circumstances, and somehow, it made things more passionate. Something about pain is erotic — people who come from pain sometimes express their passion with more intensity. At the same time, anyone who has been through struggle is often dealing with un-healed trauma, which is hazardous for a healthy relationship. I purposely avoided getting serious with gangsters for this reason, but also because they were outside my Islamic criteria and personal interests.

Dear Readers: What is your take on this topic? Would you marry a prostitute? For Sex Workers, what sort of man would you marry? Are you married to a prostitute? Are you are prostitute who is married? Share your experience!


Kenyan banker in dilemma after call girl refuses to leave his house

A Mombasa based banker is in deep dilemma after a prostitute he brought home last weekend refused to leave his apartment insisting that he should marry her.

The man, in his late 20s, had spent the evening drinking with his friends at a popular night club in Mombasa CBD when they were joined by a group of women when they were just about to leave.

It is reported that one of his buddies invited the women, who were dancing and gyrating suggestively at the club’s dance floor, for a drink for “livening” the night.

“Due to the fact that we were all drunk and poor of judgment, we decided to have more fun with the women for a fee. While my friends took their-picks to a nearby guest house, I asked mine to come with me to my apartment in Tudor estate as I felt I would spend less that way,” the man, who only identified himself as Davie, said.

“It turned out to be one of my worst mistakes in life so far!”

Though he was roaring drunk and slept like a log after barely two minutes of intercourse with the sex worker, Davie recalled: “I was surprised when I woke up at around mid-day to find out that the strange lady had gone to the kitchen and was preparing breakfast.”

Honest woman

Davie was nonetheless happy that his valuables including a phone, laptop and other electronic were intact.

She had also not picked a coin from his wallet even though it contained Sh10,000.

“I could not believe it, but I decided to hold on, eat the breakfast then see her off with Sh1,000 for her honesty,” he said.

Davie was, however, taken aback when the industrious woman began unpacking clothes from a briefcase she picked from under the table.

Before he could utter a word, she introduced herself as Lucy and politely asked him to relax and give her an ear.

Apparently, when the banker was lying in bed in a drunken state, the woman had gone outside, taken a bodaboda to her abode where she lived with her friends and rushed back to Davie’s bachelor’s apartment.

“She pleaded with me to let her stay promising that she would quit her job as a ‘night nurse’ to become my loyal housewife,” he said. “She begged in tears asking me not to turn her request down since it was evident that I was single.”

Being one who is easily moved with a female’s tear, Davie said he was robbed of his initial thought of wanting to chase the lady of the night who claimed to have reformed.

“I have a girlfriend I am engaged to who lives in Nairobi and she often comes here when she is on leave. She is also pregnant with my baby and I had promised to marry her in July. What am I going to tell her?”

To make the matter worse Davie’s circle of friends have taken to mocking him at every opportunity after he confided to one of them about his predicament.

“Whenever we are out having a drink, someone must raise the topic prompting the rest to mock me endlessly,” he said.

Although the call-girl is still holed up at his house to-date, Davie is still not ready to make her his wife but he has not yet mastered courage to order her out.

Every day he returns from work expecting to find the house messy so that he chases her away but finds it swept clean and is received with a warm almost apologetic hug followed by a hot meal. “She’s also very good in bed,” Davie confessed to Penzi Tamu.

Call Girls in Mombasa Giving Wazungu Sleepless Nights

It is Friday around midnight at a popular club in Mtwapa. Revellers dance to the loud reggae music being played by a foul-mouthed deejay with a fake Jamaican accent.

Among them are around ten odd couples of white old men dancing with young African women. The women go to great lengths to accommodate the acrobatic dancing styles of the old white men who are struggling to dance to the tunes of reggae music legend, Gregory Isaac.

Away from the dance floor, another 10 or so odd couples follow the proceedings.

They comprise of both young and old white women leisurely sipping various alcoholic beverages with their companions, young Maasai morans clad in red shukas, who protectively watch over the women the way a lion watches over her cubs.

These scenes are replicated in various entertainment joints across this busy neighbourhood that never goes to sleep. Businesses operate 24 hours here.

But it is not only in Mtwapa that you will come across these scenes.

It is the same case in most coastal towns, including Malindi and the South Coast region.

The locals have become used to these sights. Nobody is bothered anymore.

Rare gems

But what is the mystery, the irresistible attraction that lures white old folk all the way from America and Europe to look for thin women that many Kenyan men would not give as much as a second glance? And why are female mzungu tourists attracted to these  morans when there are so many urbane and educated young men they could pick without breaking a sweat?

“These women are diamonds. They are rare to find at home. Since I came to Mombasa and met this gorgeous woman, I have never regretted. It was a fulfillment of an almost a lifetime yearning or what do you call it – ambition – since my teenage days in the early ‘60s while growing up in Stuggart,” explains 77-year-old Bastian Hummels who arrived in Kenya three years ago, as he points to his companion, 22-year-old Maryanne Kadzo.

The two are inseparable. A minute rarely passes before they touch or fondle each other. They are clearly in love.

Romantic and good in bed

The old German man says that from personal experience, the women are so romantic and so good in bed that they make octogenarians like him transform into hot-blooded virile young men once more.

“I have no words to explain to you how my sexual life has changed ever since I hooked up with Maryanne. When I met her, I was an old stooping man who walked with a cane. I had tried various women back home since my late wife passed on in 1985, but I was not impressed. Look at me now. I am a boy. Many would not recognise me if I went back home. Maryanne is a miracle worker. She has transformed me,” Hummels coos.

He says that apart from being beautiful, his woman is also courteous and patient and does to him things that no German woman would do.

She bathes me

She insists on bathing him although he is quite capable of doing this, gives him body massage every morning and does numerous things that we, uuh, cannot share here.

Hummel says he is not leaving for home any time soon and when he does, he will be accompanied by Maryanne whom he is planning to officially marry before the end of 2016.

And although he has children back in Germany, he says he has left everything to Maryanne in his will.

Our fat, junk-eating women can barely lift a leg

Phil Tubman, another white foreigner, left Britain 10 years ago after retiring from a telecommunications company where he worked as an engineer.

He hooked up with Njeri who worked as a stripper in club in Malindi and he confesses that since then, he has never looked back.

“Back in Britain, I only encountered fat, flabby women who eat junk food day in, day out. They could barely lift a leg, so don’t even ask me about bedroom matters. The whole experience was horrible. I got redemption when I came to Kenya and found Njeri,” says Phil.

Asked about details of his relationship with Njeri, the Brit said were he to share all the details, he would have to write a book… “or are you ready to interview me for 30 hours?,” he asked cheekily.

Faking Pregnancy for Money

From him! Have you ever given illicit lover money to procure an abortion because you were not ready to be a father, or she threatened to spill the beans to your wife? You may have been conned, warn ERIC LUNGAI and ROSE KEMUNTO

No man wants to hear the words “We need to talk…” or “My periods are late…” from a woman with whom he has a relationship, let alone one to whom he has neither emotional attachment nor the intention of marrying.

In fact, this phrase always sparks spasmodic fear in men. Much as they appear to be listening, they hear nothing because their brains are screaming, “Can’t she just say she wants to have an abortion?”

Sly women with an entrepreneurial bent have quickly caught on. Feigning an abortion has become the easiest way for them to prey on men. They have realised that most men are frightened of becoming fathers – whether they are single or married.


It works perfectly because such men never want to be seen near an abortion clinic. They fear the woman could die in the process, and land them in hot soup either with her parents or the authorities, or both.

They also would not want to be branded a disgrace to the male species for showing up hand in hand with a woman at an abortion clinic. It is the sort of thing they expect women to take care of on their own, and keep the details to themselves. Some women know this only too well and are taking advantage to milk randy and gullible men dry.

It was barely a month into their relationship when Alice, a university student, got ‘pregnant’. While Martin, a 37-year-old banker, was not entirely certain whether the pregnancy was his, he did not want a scandal. He was, after all, a respected man – church, family, good job.

So when she asked for Sh25,000 to procure an abortion, his relief was palpable. The alternative would have been incessant teary late night phone calls, threats to tell the wife, uneasy meetings with her angry father, long court battles for child maintenance, not to forget the problems that would arise running two parallel homes.

He was, therefore, relieved when she took the money and five hours later sent him a text message saying ‘nimetoa (I have removed it)’.

But what he didn’t know was that Alice had used the money to furnish the bed-sitter she had moved into near campus. The icing on the cake is that she didn’t need to sleep with him for a while because of ‘doctor’s orders’.

Abortion in the back streets cost as little as Sh2,500, if you are a frequent client or your negotiation skills are good. But in case one wants this things done at a reputable hospital, the bill shoots up to a minimum of Sh15,000.

“I do not want to go to those funny hospitals where I could get infected, destroy my womb or even lose my life. I want to do it at a place where I will be sure I’m safe,” is the bargaining chip.

Respectable men buy that line because the last thing they want is a woman they are involved with dying in a dingy clinic because that quickly becomes a police case. Women tell their girlfriends everything and there is a risk of the botched abortion being traced to them. So they pay up and heave a sigh of relief.

The few who try to be prudent by insisting on seeing pregnancy test results still get conned even whey they accompany the women to hospital for the tests. The smooth operatives merely ‘borrow’ urine from a pregnant friend, which they offer as a sample instead of their own.

When the ‘abortion’ is carried out, the women vanish for a while and ignore the man’s half-hearted phone calls, which is understandable given the trauma associated with terminating pregnancies. Nothing pleases the men more because they view the abortion as a narrow escape and would rather the women stay away � till their guilt clears.

When the cash is over, such women often reappear, thank him for standing by their side and taking good care of them at her lowest moments, then requests for more money to cater for side effects.

“I really appreciate your support, but the money you gave me the other day was not enough. In fact, I had to borrow some more from a friend when I developed complications,” they say.

Incredibly, some of them peddle the same fake pregnancy to more than one man, or even twice to the same man.

Single mother

Alex, who is single, says he was asleep when the “we need to talk” call came. It was from a woman he had met at a club three months back and with whom he had started a sexual relationship even though he was engaged.

“When we met the next day, she bluntly told me there were only two ways: I either marry her or she aborts because she was not ready to be a single mother. I said I needed time to think about it. But when I went underground and refused to take her calls, she sent me a nasty text saying she would tell my fiancee.

“Eventually I gave her the Sh25,000 that she had demanded. I didn’t see her for about two months, but when we met, we ended up getting drunk and wound up at my place. When she called me a month later and said she was pregnant, I smelled a rat because we had used a condom. But she insisted condoms aren’t 100 per cent safe and ‘accidents’ do happen.

“I shared my suspicions with a friend who told me I could be getting conned. When I insisted on a pregnancy test at a reputable hospital, she disappeared. I still feel bitter because I have never given my own mother Sh5,000 in cash, leave alone the Sh25,000 that she conned me,” recalls Alex.


Wilson’s case is no different. He parted with Sh35,000 when his college squeeze told him she was pregnant. It would be even more expensive for her to carry it to full term while she was studying — what with having to move out of the hostel and hiring a house help, he reasoned.

“I only discovered much later from one of her close friends that she had never procured an abortion, but spent the money with her buddies in Mombasa instead. It was the most disappointing moment of my life,” says a Wilson.

Lydia, a business student at a university in Nairobi, says college girls have become adept at the game because married men are particularly scared of young girls whom they consider wild and unpredictable.

But one of them met their match in Mosoti, a smooth operator, who hails from Nyamira County but resides in Nairobi, while his wife takes care of the farm in the village.

“I was suspicious from the start when she brought up that pregnancy issue because she had been making attempts, which I had so far thwarted, to move into my house and because she was always asking for money. A week later, I invited her to my house and said I would only pay for the abortion if the baby was mine.

“When she swore that I was responsible, I went to the bedroom and came with ‘traditional medicine’, which I warned would kill her if she was lying but was harmless if she was saying the truth.

“She panicked and confessed it was a lie. Little did she know the ‘traditional medicine’ was just some ash I had collected from my jiko and packaged nicely in banana leaves from my mama mboga!”

Man bumps into his wife at a lodging

A husband and wife who had been cheating on each other literally caught themselves pants down when they bumped each other at a lodging in the expansive Kulawayo estate near Nakuru. The man, a fish monger at the estate, had informed his wife that he wanted to travel to Western Kenya for an urgent family event that would take place the following day.

When the man was set to leave, he exchanged a few pleasantries with his wife and then left for the bus station. “Good bye dear,” she waved beaming with a charming smile. Unknown to her, however, the man was going nowhere near his rural home. He had instead made arrangements with another woman and they had agreed to meet at a nearby lodging facility. The idea of going to ‘Western Kenya’ was just a ruse to cover his amorous ways.

But in line with equality, his wife also thought that this was an opportune time to meet a man she had been surreptitiously having an affair with. She promptly called her lover to and they booked a room in one of the few lodgings available in the sprawling estate.

By coincidence, the lodging the woman and her lover booked was the same one her husband was holed up with another woman. In fact, unbeknown to them, they had booked adjacent rooms. Everything went on as planned and nothing seemed unusual until around 10pm when the unexpected happened.

The man who had ostensibly visited Western Kenya decided to call his wife, to assure her that his journey was smooth and hassle free. The first attempt to make the call was unsuccessful and he thought it was as a result of poor network. He decided to make the repeat call from outside the room.

After the second attempt, the call went through. But something baffled him: a familiar ring-tone sounded in the next room, seemingly generated from the call he was making due to the timing.

Then suddenly, the door flung flung open and a woman emerged clutching a phone. She was his wife! It was one of those awful moments when one wishes they could sink into the ground. The man discontinued the call and stared at his wife in silence and disbelief. He could not believe what was unfolding before his eyes.

But slowly, the bile rose and chest heaving, he thundered, “Truphena, what are you doing here? What is the meaning of this?”

Angry that he didnt seem to be aware that he was equally in hot soup, she raised her eyes toward the starry night and retorted,”Jeckonia, what are you doing here?”

Time stood still. They both gave each other strained, anguished looks, followed by nervous smiles. With a mixture of shame, guilty and resentment eating him up, the man said, “Truphena, let’s talk at home.”

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